Back in my day…

Came home and found both of my children aged 20 and 18yrs respectively plus daughter’s 24yr old boyfriend dancing to this in my living room with the dog acting as little green slime ghost.

At their age I was taking drugs, tripping balls at festivals and watching The Prodigy.

In my home they did this…  Didn’t even care that I caught them nor break off and miss a beat.

I don’t know where we went wrong but it’s too late now.   The damage is done.


Birthday Cake Ideas

It’s my daughter’s 21st next month and having made the one and only cake I ever made in my entire life for Sam’s 18th last year it’s sort of expected I’ll attempt a second.

Sam genuinely loved his cake and surprisingly everyone else really enjoyed it too – not just saying it to be polite either they really did like the bastard thing but I’m not keen on chocolate so didn’t eat it and after two days spent making it, was glad to just get the thing out from the kitchen and under my feet.

Was five individual plain chocolate flavoured sponges stacked up with cream in-between each layer smeared with Betty Crocker fondant shit paste stuff and Maoam pinballs dotted around the top layer and poured inside a hole thingy I made so that when he sliced into it the pinballs poured out.

Anyway I already started giving through to Hannah’s cake which ideally would be dog / border collie themed and considering my total inability to bake I’ve shoved a selection of collie related cake toppers and all sorts in my Amazon shopping basket.


Then after I’d put those in, the suggestions that came up got better and better and better…all added to my basket in the absence of Sam being here to give his opinion but so good I couldn’t not order them.


And then these popped up…


Which made me go looking for roller boot cake toppers and sure enough there they are.

skateSo now I’m thinking we should just sack the idea of a Border Collie cake and have one dedicated entirely to the Cliff-Meister whose skating skills are as shit as my baking skills.Peter-de-Wit-FaceMePLS-for-Wiki-CommonsA Walkman cake can’t be that hard it’s just a rectangular shape I can cover in black ready to roll icing then use grey and white edible food pens for the detail, cheap pair of headphones for decoration and boom!!  Wired for Sound 😀



Kate Bush Live at Hammersmith

Back in the days of dial-up when you had to use illegal sites to download music and videos I tried downloading “Kate Bush Live at Hammersmith Odeon” and ended up completely ruining the computer with virus after virus and weird-ass Russian porn thrown in for good measure :/

Mark was there trying to sort the PC “What the fu@k kinda sites did you go on? What were you trying to find?”

“Kate Bush… really good concert”

Now it’s all there to appreciate on YouTube minus the viruses and weird ass porn yeeee

Link will jump to the “Wow” but the concert in its entirety is brilliant.

Kate was only 19yrs old at the time and using the first wireless mic that was crudely kinda fashioned together and stuck with bits of tape and a coat-hanger.

First time I saw “Violin” and the two giant violins appear at either side of her I thought I was tripping balls.

Mad as a box of frogs but brilliant 🙂

Mark still shakes his head over the crap I ended up downloading and never did get Kate Bush after all that.

Pony Club

Rediscovered this old clip from French & Saunders which is so on point with the type of people everyone who’s ever ridden, been around horses or spent time on a yard will completely relate.

Everyone knows a rider like Dawn and “Peter Pan” who will rock up decked out head to toe in the full riding gear, spend three hours trying to catch their horse, another two hours grooming, try briefly to pick up their feet and give up saying they seem fine, tack up and go the whole hog with boots and job lot then spend about half an hour actually sat on because they can’t get Peter Pan to do a sodding thing.

Everyone also knows a Jennifer and “Jigsaw” who can ride but for some inexplicable reason is never able to keep their horse from just pissing off and going where he wants and as they canter back and forth will yell out a casual “I’ll see you there!” or “He wants to go home now!”

The little things make it like Jennifer showing Jigsaw the 2ft jump and saying “Show him the first fence that’s what they do at Hickstead” and then going round for a good run up only to have a refusal – at a 2ft jump.

Best thing is Jennifer Saunders can actually ride and has to stop Jigsaw short of the jump he was otherwise gonna go over.

Then as he briefly touches and knocks the pole off “Jigsaw you stupid bugger!!!” 

Oh man this tickled me.