Needed my 17yr old son Sam to come and help me move some heavy stuff the other night “I need just you a minute – can you come give me a hand please?”
He quickly put one hand up and went “Wait a sec – fighting a naked lady” and went back to his full-on concentrating all over the place game face
“What … you’re doing what?”
Popped my head around to look and sure as, he was in the middle of a full blown fight with a naked lady with tits, lady-garden and full job lot.
The casual way he said it and the sight of him beating the living shit out of this naked lady made me laugh so hard and all night.
My child… the bosom doth swell with pride.
Further to an earlier post and chat with my friend you can all find here at I rediscovered “Jerry Springer – The Opera”
Despite first appearances and many automatically scoffing at the idea and assuming it’s nothing but filth and “Fuck”, it’s brilliantly written with its original cast being some of the most talented in the world.
There were protests nearly everywhere the show toured I think but what tickled me most was seeing / hearing about the show being racist, sexist, inappropriate, offensive, blasphemous, homophobic and so on…
The actor that played “Warm up guy / Satan” is a black, gay Christian 😀
Sadly the knock-on effect and opposition by Christian Voice meant that the brilliant charity Maggie’s Centres had little option but reject a £3,000 donation from Jerry Springer: The Opera.
Now there’s a cruel irony from the Christians. Making a charity turn down cash it can ill afford to turn down and leaving terminally ill people and their families to go short too. Nice going Christian Voice.
When the KKK rocked up on stage and started tap-dancing I burst out laughing but did feel a slight hint of “Holy shit… that’s close” mainly because you heard a collective gasp from everyone else followed closely by the entire place howling with laughter.
When I first noticed black arms poking out from underneath the robes… absolutely died.
But yeah – a brilliant show.
Few years ago my husband bought some brilliant LED collars for the dogs because we live in the middle of nowhere, it’s pitch black first and last thing and I don’t like them being off-lead and difficult to see.
One was bright blue and the other a glowing white and when both collars were fully charged and glowing you’d see them for miles like weird low-level UFO’s as one blue light bounded around on the ground and another white light appeared wrestling with the blue light.
Amazing how many people saw them from their houses and stood watching and wondering what the hell those blue and lights were.
Anyway we were away for the weekend around Christmas and my daughter rang saying the collars had given up the ghost. Both dogs had legged it and jumped into the river swimming after ducks and the collars were drenched and beyond repair.
I still needed her to go out first and last thing though but she couldn’t take them unless they were kept on the lead all the time (a nightmare and totally impractical) or she found a means of fixing the collars or getting creative in other ways.
An hour later and she was on the phone pleased as hell “Wait til you see what I’ve done… it’s the shit. It’s the best thing in the world honest you’ll love it. Check your inbox shortly I’m sending some pics”
As promised pics arrived of both dogs wrapped up perfectly in tiny LED microlights she found at the bottom of the box with all the Christmas decoration and stuff we weren’t using.
They had different settings i.e. pulsating bright / low glow, a chaser setting and rapid flashing so she used two different lots for each dog, wrapped them carefully around the walking / sports harnesses and the result was a spectacular burst of colour and flashing and enough going on to warrant a seizure warning.
I don’t have the photos to hand but will get them off her and share later. They looked brilliant.
It made me think of other things we could do with and there’s a gap in the market she could jump on but I’ll come back to that in a different post.
For now here’s an idea of what the dogs looked like decked out in their pretty twinkly Christmas tree lights 😀
Found this clip after a long break from Father Ted and I’m absolutely crying with laughter.
Mrs Carberry… Oh God I can’t breathe.
I’m laughing even though it’s not really funny but it is because we all know a Screaming Sue and can see this entire scenario perfectly in our mind.
Screaming Sue is like the French & Saunders sketch.
BY DEBORAH JANE NICHOLAS Open the gate, open the gate!!!! No-one stopped in their tracks, conversations were not interrupted, tea drinking did not cease mid-sip either. By now everyone was accustomed to Screaming Sue and her daily routine of turning out her horse. Sue’s somewhat unconventional method of taking Bargy Boris (BB) to pasture always […]
via Screaming Sue — COUNTRY SQUIRE MAGAZINE