With huge reluctance and heavy heart I stripped out my old upright when it was finished off in the second lot of floods in February despite it having been not even remotely close to an instrument for years beforehand however. finally dismantled and sent it to piano Heaven.
Puddi having a few final moments to say goodbye… sniffling and weeping gently.
“I’ve always wanted to get inside this thing and finally when I can, she takes it away from me. Would rather have lost and never known than known for a moment and lost forever. RIP old piece of crap thing that pinged and dinged a lot in the night”
Given the history, it being the piano Hannah learned to play, Sam played – was a literal part of the furniture for 20yrs and I had refused to part with despite not being any use for playing, I decided to strip and keep the keys so I could get Mark to turn them into some mounted wall art type thing.
Can’t make up my mind or come with ideas for what I can do, what kind of design to have or whether I should just line up the keys as they are and have a long piano sized wall art or what.
Some artistic and creative folk have made but I’m just kinda “Meh” cos nothing jumps out at me and I’m not an artistic sort.
Asked someone far more creative being Christine over at artbychristinemallabandbrown but after finding a few things listed in various places, figured it’s worth sharing as a post cos my artistic skills are zero.
Full set off 88 piano keys (original ivory too sadly but it was over 100yrs old) and they slot in to put back together but there’s no pins hammers, felt or any other support – just the keys.
Gonna dig them out tomorrow and see what nick the wood is in and whether I can treat, varnish and strengthen without it affecting their physical appearance any but in the meantime, Ideas, suggestion and scribbled sketches very welcome.
Photos of stuff other clever bastards made from theirs.
RIP Piano. You sounded like a tortured soul screaming in Hell, bust strings randomly and nearly blinded both small child and beast more than once and I suspect you may even have housed some kind of small critter at one point which should have been the moment we parted company forever but anyway… Now you are free.
Rest in Peace and may Heaven’s Elephants have mercy on your makers’ ivory ass poaching soul 😦
Having informally been walking / boarding dogs for yonks on a voluntary basis I’ve decided to carefully offer a private service more to get Hannah going safely than anything.
She’s more than capable, experienced and confident – I have total confidence in her but didn’t like the idea of her being thrown in at the deep end possibly with dogs that weren’t entirely safe and suitable.
She was asked to meet with two different ladies that run their own pet boarding and care services but they didn’t want any references nor did either of them ask her to join and have a walk out with her existing client’s dogs and I don’t trust anyone that is willing to trust anyone.
Besides she talked about having three collies, a young cocker and two Wolfhounds that were regularly on her books for daily walks which also bothered me because legally, you’re not supposed to be exercising more than four dogs at once off-lead. Not everyone knows that which is fair enough but when it’s your business, you’re being paid and entrusted to look after someone’s dogs and seek to hire staff – it’s the sort of thing you should know.
So I’m gonna offer a private dog walking / sitting and possibly boarding on her behalf then I can oversee, supervise and make sure whatever dogs might come our / her way are safe and suitable.
Will be absolutely upfront and honest from the outset that it’s a private arrangement although I will be careful to draft an agreement of what is discussed, arranged and agreed but all in all, we don’t make the worst people you could leave your doggo with for an hour or two a day or whilst you sod off on holiday to Crete for a fortnight 🙂
Question is, would you trust us?
*Flups is another nickname we gave Puddi. Fluffy puppy that shortened to just “Flups” which following the arrival of Fleet became one of those things where you join a couple’s name together i.e. Shamy / Brangelina.
OK I’m shouting out for thoughts on the design and décor of a new purpose built dementia care due to open end of June / early July.
Has just registered and been given the nod so all being well with enough staff recruited, checked and in place for opening day, I will be working with them to make sure they get off on the right foot, have staff trained and supervised / supported and generally start as they mean to go.
The home’s info and brochure describes the following –
It’s a specialist dementia care home for 40 people with excellent layout and facilities including huge bathrooms, wet rooms, three communal lounges, four quiet rooms, activity room and own café serving coffee, tea and home-made cakes.
Enclosed landscaped gardens, terrace and gazebo with seating and furniture.
The bedrooms are located across three floors, with lift and stair access to each floor.
Deluxe rooms are beautifully decorated and furnished with everything you would expect including stylish furniture, quality flooring, flat screen TV, and co-coordinating curtains, walls and bedding.
The premium rooms come with brand new King Sized beds, luxurious bed linen, curtains and accessories, bespoke furniture and feature wallpaper”
The choice of activities includes photography, baking, trips to the seaside, park walks, crafts, massage, cinema, theatre and gardening.
Wi-Fi. Hairdressing salon. Newspaper delivery service. Full laundry service washing and ironing done for you. On site cafe and drinks. Telephone access. 24Hr nurse call system”
Now at the risk of sounding like I’m putting a bummer on the place or trying to take the edge off things I’m of the opinion a lot of the things advertised and marketed as the main “sell” for want of a better word aren’t much of a sell.
All care homes have laundry, 24hr staff and nurse call and all should have tastefully decorated, furnished rooms with suitable facilities, good nutritious food and regular activities offered.
The king sized beds are likely to need replacing with a more suitable lower level bed and maybe different aids and equipment, luxurious bed linen is likely to need laundering at high temperatures regularly which either leaves it looking a mess and not so luxurious, needing to be replaced very often (costing a fortune) or switching to a different linen altogether.
Bespoke furniture and ornaments are unsafe to have in many rooms as they tend to be heavy or have sharp edges that can cause accident and injury. Feature wallpapers can cause problems for people with dementia too if they’re busy, have large bright and HOLY SHIT designs.
I redecorated an entire care home top to bottom for just under £2000. Gutted with steam cleaners, sugar soap, repainted the woodwork at night, gave walls the same cream / neutral coloured emulsion right the way through finished off with some small tasteful wall murals / decals, plants / fresh flowers and lighting to pretty it up and give it a new burst of life.
The place was rank and had not seen a paint brush since it first opened thirty years earlier it was grim as shit but done up on a budget and really looked well 😀
Each resident had their own choice of colour scheme with bedding, curtains and matching cushions up to a max of £200 per room but most either weren’t all that fussed (“I like blue just make it a nice baby blue colour I don’t mind”) or ended up spending way below budget anyway.
My thoughts and general advice / ideas at this stage are to scrap marketing as a high-end luxury hotel spa boutique type thing and instead use the additional space and facilities to make them useful, safer, homely and appealing to family as well as residents.
Premium rooms on ground floor could have –
Personalised colour scheme and choice of bed linen, curtain and matching furnishings within an agreed budget to redecorate every 2yrs. This gives residents and their families the option to decide what colour walls, what type of linen and do it up in a more homely way rather than feel they are moving into a standard room just like everyone else’s.
Space for own furniture from home (subject to size and assessment)
Space for a small pet (bird or similar) and a quiet room / lounge / memory corner or library for residents to enjoy sole private use. If they can’t bring in a family dog or cat it would still allow their families to bring them in and visit regularly within the privacy of their own room.
Second guest bed for family to stay overnight with lockable safe, tea / coffee making facilities, bed linen, towels and complimentary toiletries.
Own telephone and for those that are tech savvy a workspace for laptops so they Skype their great great nephew bumming it round New Zealand.
With the greatest of respect, as people with dementia deteriorate the support, comfort and a place to feel welcome and spend the remainder of whatever short time is left becomes more important for their families and I’ve always been big on making sure they know they can rock up, waltz in and make themselves at home.
Goes without saying the care given to the people with dementia is never short nor scrimped by any stretch either but the need for those little touches and home comforts often becomes greater for their families as they see their loved ones through to the end.
If these rooms come with a premium price tag they have to appeal to families who will no doubt be paying that top up and be grateful to have their own place to sit privately with loved ones, get their head down and stay overnight as and when needed, feel at home and have somewhere to shower and get themselves a brew.
Makes a huge difference if they can take the time and enjoy decorating bedrooms and furnishing with a personal touch so they aren’t left with guilt or feeling unwanted, unwelcome and not comfortable being at the home and seeing their loved ones on a daily basis.
So with that what else do people think would be useful to have in bedrooms that are classed as “luxury” but won’t alter the layout and be costly to arrange and then take out for the next person?
Any / all ideas welcome with open arms (from perspective of residents, relatives, staff – everyone) Don’t bother about it seeming too personal, selfish or trivial there’s no such thing and I want to take it all into account because it matters. Making a place look good and dazzling people with expensive this, that and the other doesn’t impress nor do any good.
What I’m thinking is making it everyone’s home and having everyone feel at home but without the show and price tag.
Oooh and a Yodel Cliff Hanger stair lift. That’s one Mark promised he’d try and work out a design for but it didn’t happen although I have high hopes it may still one day become a reality 😀
I’m crying with laughter at this in particular the hot air balloon randomly appearing, trolling ATC and screwing shit up for aircraft on the ground playing nicely waiting for clearance.
Now ordered loads of hot-air balloon stickers so I can annoy my husband and kids by sticking little hot air balloons on the car windscreen, bathroom mirror, shower doors and place them inside laptops ready to pop up in their colourful glory during staff meetings or college.
Note to husband “Can you have a quick look at my car and check fan belt? Making a noise” – Gigantic hot air balloon stuck there for him to find
Note to son “Left some dinner for you in microwave” – Giant hot air balloon stuck inside microwave
Note to daughter “Hamster needs cleaning out” – HOT AIR BALLOONS COMPLETELY CONCEALING ANY SIGN OF HAMSTER
Thank you Flight Simulator. My new bestest favourite thing 🙂
It’s my daughter’s 21st next month and having made the one and only cake I ever made in my entire life for Sam’s 18th last year it’s sort of expected I’ll attempt a second.
Sam genuinely loved his cake and surprisingly everyone else really enjoyed it too – not just saying it to be polite either they really did like the bastard thing but I’m not keen on chocolate so didn’t eat it and after two days spent making it, was glad to just get the thing out from the kitchen and under my feet.
Was five individual plain chocolate flavoured sponges stacked up with cream in-between each layer smeared with Betty Crocker fondant shit paste stuff and Maoam pinballs dotted around the top layer and poured inside a hole thingy I made so that when he sliced into it the pinballs poured out.
Anyway I already started giving through to Hannah’s cake which ideally would be dog / border collie themed and considering my total inability to bake I’ve shoved a selection of collie related cake toppers and all sorts in my Amazon shopping basket.
Then after I’d put those in, the suggestions that came up got better and better and better…all added to my basket in the absence of Sam being here to give his opinion but so good I couldn’t not order them.
And then these popped up…
Which made me go looking for roller boot cake toppers and sure enough there they are.
So now I’m thinking we should just sack the idea of a Border Collie cake and have one dedicated entirely to the Cliff-Meister whose skating skills are as shit as my baking skills.A Walkman cake can’t be that hard it’s just a rectangular shape I can cover in black ready to roll icing then use grey and white edible food pens for the detail, cheap pair of headphones for decoration and boom!! Wired for Sound 😀
We have various tricks and routines and stuff we do to music with the dogs but the most recent one is mastering a 20 min “show” with both dogs plus a third collie “Fly” for possible use this summer.
The theme will be black and white and soundtrack from the old SeaWorld “Believe” show. I’m entirely anti-captivity before anyone asks but regardless of feelings and which side of the fence you sit, there is little question the music from Believe was great and the show an incredible example of what we could and should have been able to achieve with these amazing creatures if we’d gone about it differently but that’s humans for you we shag most things up that didn’t need our help.
Anyway we’ll donate half of any donations and cash raised to Orca Research and the other half to border collie rescue 🙂
So the general thing is similar to the beginning of the Believe in that we come out to the intro all smiles and waves with a little girl we stick on centre podium and through a headset and mic do the typically annoying generic spiel which I can do.. was in musical theatre for a while so bog standard stuff “Hello boys and girls.. Hi thanks for coming hope you’re having a great time today… we’re here with our dogs to show you a little bit about training and positive reinforcement techniques that -“
Wait – what’s this? Music dramatically changes and with it come two very vicious and terrifying dogs that seemingly launch an instant and terrifying deadly attack OMG THEY’RE ATTACKING?!
The same way Shamu does fast perimeter swims and leaps as though he’s hunting the trainer in the pool – the dogs will be unleashed and out of control and carrying out a sustained and deadly attack.
One minute of sustained and half realistic looking ragging, growling and head shaking as though they’re tearing limb from limb and then as the music changes again… Wait..what’s happening now?
The little girl raises her arms and commands the dogs to cease to which they immediately respond and are under her full and complete control … WOW!!!
She moves her arms again and sends them slowly and steadily back away from us, asks them to give a salute or wave to the audience with typical gushing noises and “nawww…..” and we’ll get back up on our feet and go stand by this young saviour who just rescued us from certain death then but.. another change in mood … What now?! What next? Will this never end??
A brief silence everyone on the edge of their last nerve and the dogs take a running jump and leap into our arms all super happy friendly wagging tails and licking faces and showing everyone it was all just an act after all!!
“Silly dogs and those stupid bitches making everyone think it was real and putting that little girl at risk in the middle of their nonsense… where is that child’s mother she needs reporting but Naww… look see it’s all an act!!”
More rapturous applause and next track kicking in for Share the Joy segment so we give a huge round of applause for small child and kick her out back to her negligent Mum so we can do the rest of the show with her safely out from under the feet.
The remainder is a series of standard tricks and jumping and poles and agility stuff with a brief talk / display to show about how even little girls can learn to train without force or harming and hurting dogs and so on.
Could potentially have a horse for the finale who is owned by the negligent mother and he’s a horse I know well, have ridden many times and is well trained and has been used in public displays before so I can jump on and keeping him going at a nice steady canter.
A huge 17hh drum horse – black and white too which works out well plus he’s a sight to behold at full gallop cos his hooves thunder from miles off he’s great 🙂
We end with horse, dogs and small child all coming to the centre of the ring with child back up on the podium – dogs and horse bowing down on cue – Puddi jumping up onto my back and finishing with us all stacked like oddball Russian dolls TA-DAH!!
Cue final rapturous applause as the walkout music plays and everyone is told “Thanks for coming we hope you enjoyed the show we’re back again at 2pm but for now piss off we’re having hot-dogs bye everyone… bye!!”
Everything else is straight forward but… I cannot get Fleet to look remotely vicious. Every few seconds he stops and wags his tail and gives the daft goon face as though he thinks it’s impolite and disrespectful and I’m glad he’s that way inclined but I need him to play the vicious dog just for one minute.
Never thought I’d be keen to have a dog launch a sustained attack on me but now I have one that switches it on instantly like she’s rabid ….
And Fleet…
It’s not looking good. There are much worse things to complain about in a dog but at this rate it’ll be a panto-horse costume painted black and white.
Might work. Could work. Still likely to be more fearsome than Fleet either way.
Answers on a postcard please
*In case anyone isn’t familiar. Link should be straight at our big intro to applause and “HI EVERYONE HELLO THANKS FOR JOINING US!!” and the moment of tension Freety-fat-lad is killing…
Edit.
We could deliberately interrupt things with a record scratch and Fleety-goon face set to Curb your Enthusiasm 😀
He’s bob on at playing the slapstick stuff that could be one way around it.
We don’t do Valentine’s Day in this house. We just don’t.
However I’ve had these two photographs printed and framed for my husband who calls Puddi his “Baby” and mard-arses, spoils and lets her get away with murder on a daily basis.
First was taken the day we met Puddi at the farm when she was five weeks old. Mark picked her up and she snuggled her head into his chest and he fell in love with her on the spot hook, line and sinker.
Second is her now with the same pose and sleepy eyes.
Shouldn’t have gone looking but I did and I ended up back at homes for sale in Norway again and now I’m here with Norwegian house porn and all that its cold snowy weird Norwegian wonders have to offer.
Equivalent to roughly £340k which sounds a lot but not when you consider what it gets you
Over 100 acres which is lots of space for dogs
A pond for dogs
Some more dog pond
More acres and barns for dogs and horses
Your own woodland walk
Laundry to clean up when dogs and horses have been in the pond
Land with a pond
Lots of land and woods and ponds and shit loads more round the back if you need extra
A pond
You could keep a troll in the pond too if you were pushed.
Every time I have a session looking at homes for sale in Norway I’m that bit closer to booking flights and doing one.
We have no mortgage and have my beautiful expensive car to unlock cash and the rest I’d get by selling the hopes, dreams and souls of orphaned children to the devil.
Then once we’re there I can set about making my own little world and offering it out dirt cheap to travellers with dogs, horses and trolls and turn over any profits to animal rescue and such.
The woodlands I’d turn into a Skyrim forest complete with dragons and travellers and wenches. There’d be ace wooden carvings and signposts that take you all the way to Sovngarde.
I’d build nifty cosy little wooden lodges and hire them out as holiday lets.
I’d offer a horse riding, dog training and animal care experience for less fortunate kids to come spend a week away from it all.
I’d kick back during the summer and smoke pot in a carved Skyrim dragon boat smack bang in the middle of my pond because when I’m in a boat and in my pond my husband won’t know or be able to tell me off for smoking dank weed.
I’ll hang fairy lights all over the place and make it pretty and twinkly, plant and grow trolls in the reeds and see where that takes us.
Then I’d invite all you lot over to come stay for as little or as long as you like.
Quite frankly I see no reason why this couldn’t happen.
“I don’t know what to get him for Christmas!!!”came out of my daughter’s mouth today as is heard across the world around this time of year.
“Do the £10 challenge then don’t go wasting cash on crap”
“Oooooooh yeah I’d forgotten about that. Winner. Cheers that’s sorted”
Back when our kids were little and we strapped for cash my husband and I invented what’s now known as £10 challenge.
Neither of us particularly wanted or needed anything so rather than spend a lot of time, frustration and money on gifts just for the sake of it we decided to set each other a challenge whereby you had to buy as much crap, tat and as many as possible for exactly ten quid – not a penny more or less – from charity shops wherever possible.
It became a “thing” and caught on with friends and family who decided it was a simple and miles better idea than spending a fortune.
First year Mark and I did the £10 challenge I bought him the following –
Atomic pinball machine in full working order.
“Hanging Tough” 12″ vinyl – not a scratch on it.
Golfer snow-globe. You shake it – little golf balls everywhere!!
There were a couple of other things I can’t remember off the top but I ended with 50p left and could not shift it for love nor money. All the items I’d found and bought were from charity shops and the staff kept knocking money off the tags for me and insisting on it because the things had sat untouched in the shop for so long.
In the end my daughter and I were passing a fruit and veg stall and I saw cauliflowers for sale at 40p. Bought one and told him to keep or put the 10p change into a charity box if they had one.
I received –
1000pc jigsaw of Her Majesty The Queen
Inflatable orca
Rainbow striped 6″ stiletto heeled boots
Don’t have a picture of the actual boots and can’t find a photo of them either but later discovered they were designer “Ferragamo” (no idea) and rainbow range something or other some women would sell their husband and kids to own.
They were the worst things you’ve ever seen. Ever. The whole boot was in rainbow bright pinstripes with a silver, sparkly 6″ heel.
Mark found them in a pile of shoes inside our local Salvation Army and paid £3.99
Learning the value of them I put them up for sale on Ebay and they went for £40 which was donated back to charity.
The jigsaw and other small items I returned to charity shops or centres.
The orca I still have. That’s going nowhere.
Anyway if you’re in the predicament of what to buy your nearest and dearest, I highly recommend setting yourselves the £10 challenge.
We waste so much money at Christmas on buying gifts and it’s incredible how much stuff you can get for just a tenner and actually quite fun shopping for shit but having to be savvy and imaginative.
Whatever you don’t want to keep hold of you can donate back to charity and let them make that bit of extra cash too so everyone’s a winner.
I’ll come back and post about how to really make Christmas if you have young children for almost nothing.
My kids are now adults but to this day still remember the Christmas morning I made them tidy up at 6am before anyone was allowed to touch a single present.
For those that have never heard of “New Kids on The Block” well.. well I pity you really. You haven’t lived until you’ve got on the floor and done the New Kids dance.
So now I’m thinking we should just sack the idea of a Border Collie cake and have one dedicated entirely to the Cliff-Meister whose skating skills are as shit as my baking skills.
A Walkman cake can’t be that hard it’s just a rectangular shape I can cover in black ready to roll icing then use grey and white edible food pens for the detail, cheap pair of headphones for decoration and boom!! Wired for Sound 😀
Auntysocial 
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