OK so I’m a thirty-something woman from the UK (“The North” to be precise) and created this blog for no other reason than to keep myself amused when I’m at a loose end.
I tend to find everything funny to some extent including even the worst of situations and most sensitive of subjects but for good reason and with the greatest of respect – even if it doesn’t seem that way.
I am unreasonable, hypocritical and very easily / almost always annoyed about trivial things, which is a characteristic I would find very annoying in another person.
I display “incredible hulk” type-traits when I am driving and another road user fails to indicate.
When I’m going upstairs I sometimes scare myself by pretending someone’s behind me and then I’ll run really fast all the way up to the top going “Urghh!!” in sheer terror.
I say “hello” in a high-pitched, squeaky voice when I see someone I don’t know all that well and every time I do it I get annoyed with myself.
I cannot abide rude, ill-mannered people and I am never ever rude or offhand to anyone I do not know. Having said that, I will quite happily jump off a cliff in order to avoid talking to people I “sort of” know.
I swear and sing a lot – often at the same time.
I talk to myself a lot. Too much in fact.
I pull faces when I look in the bathroom mirror and make myself laugh by doing it.
I actually cry with laughter at my own jokes, regardless of whether anyone else thinks they’re funny.
I love childish insults and think more people should use them.
I dislike cats, tomatoes and Jeremy Kyle.
I love dogs, horses, grumpy people and old people. They’re magic.
I am the most tired person ever and would happily sleep for years and years, given the chance. When I am sleeping, I often wander / shout and bawl as well.
I have some form of Tourette’s, although I’m not sure what it is, but it makes songs / thoughts pop into my head which could not be any more inappropriate given the situation at the time.
I tend to get out of every scrape I get into, often with ease. I’m just one of those people who could talk their way out of the hangman’s noose and then get him to buy me a pint afterwards.
Happily married to my long-suffering husband and have two delightful, if not slightly scary children – Hannah (19) and Sam (17) The four of us discuss issues and settle arguments as a family using the power of “Belming”
When I’m not posting pointless, inane shite on sites like WordPress, I have a relatively grown up job working part-time as a specialist compliance advisor (Health / Social Care). I might not sound like I’m suited for that sort of a job but trust me, I’m exactly the person you want fighting the corner for your elderly relatives and training care staff to do the same.
When I’m not doing that, I’m usually in my wellies trudging through fields with my other lifelong passions which are horses and dogs.
The picture below is a remarkable resemblance of what I actually look like.