“One sunny day when Jung was twelve, he was traversing the Munsterplaz in Basel, admiring the sun shining on the newly restored glazed roof tiles of the cathedral. He then felt the approach of a terrible, sinful thought which he pushed away.
He was in a state of anguish for several days. Finally, after convincing himself that was God who wanted him to think this thought, just as it had been God who had wanted Adam and Eve to sin, he let himself contemplate it and saw God on his throne unleashing an almighty turd on the cathedral, shattering its new roof and smashing the cathedral. With this Jung felt a sense of bliss and relief such as he had never experienced before”
- From “The Red Book” by C.J Jung
I’ve been laughing so hard and for so long over this it’s ridiculous.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of explaining an “automatic washing machine” to a 90 year old lady. She was genuinely amazed to learn about a machine that has different settings, reaches different temperatures and washes everything thoroughly before draining all the water out and with just the touch of a button.
This is just one of the many reasons I love old people.
As if his words might not do the trick, Mr Stevens (Penis of the Highest Order) opted to appear as though rolling with laughter at having his blood pressure checked.
His name is Dave. He was making a good effort to leave the pub and go home when I spotted him and stopped the car because on my life, he was doing the “Smooth Criminal” move right there.
Even more impressive is that despite copious amounts of alcohol steaming round his system, he was bustin’ the moves on a pub car park whilst holding a tray of chips and not one was left behind. The whole platoon was saved.
You know the video of that poor guy trying to get round the store for more beer and finding out his legs have fallen out with the rest of his body? That’s the level of pissed this chap was only he managed the moves and didn’t drop a single chip which means Dave wins.
Anyway, the good and decent people out there will be pleased to know I personally made sure he got home safely and was told by his neighbour this is a regular thing.
Sad really but I cannot get my head around how anyone can get that pissed.
I’d spew up my own pelvis bone and toes before I’d reach this point.